"Um, okay?" Dr. Rodney McKay repeated incredulously. "Did you just agree to what I think you agreed to?" He stammered, his eyes widening slightly. "You can't be serious."

"Rodney," Sheppard warned as he glared at him, nodding in the general direction to the large weapon aimed at them.

"They said fuck or die," McKay groaned. "Do you understand what that means?"

"Teyla," Sheppard grated as she nodded and turned to the flustered doctor.

"I believe that this is the safest course of action," she began to explain as he shook his head in dismay.

"I think Ronon can take them," McKay groaned as he glanced quickly at him. "He's twice as big as they are- again, why do we have him on the team?"

"Rodney," Sheppard warned once more as Ronon glared at both of them and then turned his gaze to the men holding them captive.

"No," Ronon added and crossed his arms across his chest, his eyes glued on the missile trained on them.

"Your terms?" Sheppard questioned as he motioned toward the Chief.

"Fuck or die," he growled once more as he pointed the missile gun at them.

"Okay," Sheppard drawled as he glanced over at a panicked McKay. "I think we've established that."

"You," the Chief drawled as he pointed to McKay and he jumped.

"Me?" He gasped. "You want me? You can't be serious; Ronon is a much better match for-"

"And you," the Chief continued ignoring the doctor's pleas as he pointed to Sheppard.

"Anything else?" Sheppard questioned as he glanced at the rest of his team.

"No," the Chief shrugged. "They may go."

Sheppard nodded and turned to Ronon and Teyla. "Go back to Atlantis."

Teyla and Ronon glanced at each other, visibly not liking the command.

"Sir?" Teyla questioned as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Is that an order?" Ronon barked, hands on his weapons, ready for anything.

Sheppard stepped closer to them. "Yes." He snapped as he glanced over his shoulder at the smiling Chief and then turned quickly to his team. "Get out of here," he ordered in a hushed voice. "Send back up, if we are not back in four hours."

Teyla and Ronon nodded, preferring an actual order and a mission. "We shall not fail you," Teyla whispered as she turned and Ronon reluctantly followed.

Sheppard watched them leave; only turning back to the others when he was positive that Teyla and Ronon would follow his orders this time.

"Good," the Chief grunted as he waved his hands in front of him, indicating that he wanted Sheppard and McKay to come to him.

"And this was starting out to be such a good day," McKay sighed. "A nice large breakfast with extra-"

"Rodney," Sheppard stressed and McKay sighed.

"Fuck or die," the Chief ordered, a bright smile appearing on his face.

"What? Here?" McKay gasped. "There's no bed or even a proper table. And my skin tends to-"

"Rodney," Sheppard snapped.

"Here." The Chief grinned as he pointed to a slightly elevated platform that neither had noticed before.

"Was that there a moment ago?" Sheppard questioned as he glanced at the platform and started to cross over to it.

"No," McKay quickly responded as he moved over and began to study it. "Astounding," he grinned suddenly. "It's an adjustable platform that seems to be run by an enhanced naquadah reactor- the wiring is more advanced then anything else I've encountered so far."

"Is that so?" Sheppard quipped as he lost interest in the stone platform and turned back to the Chief.

"I wonder if I could take a peak at-" he began, his voice trailing as he remembered what their task was.

"Fuck." The Chief commanded, his fingers running up and down the missile trained on them.

Sheppard turned to McKay and kissed him, not giving him any time to move or object any further. Just as McKay relaxed under the assault of his CO's lips there was clapping.

Sheppard and McKay turned to the Chief who was smiling and waving at them. "You are honorable men, we trade." The Chief grunted and turned to his council.

"That's it?" McKay gasped as he looked over at Sheppard.

"Come, we drink and celebrate." The Chief gestured. "Your friends are waiting. Good you passed the test."

"The test," Sheppard deadpanned, shaking his head.

"So, is there food at this celebration thing?" McKay questioned, seemingly unconcerned about what had transpired.

"Rodney, don't you find this a little odd?" He asked as McKay turned to him.

"There's food-" he offered quickly as he studied him. "Oh, yes. Very odd."

"The people have explained the ritual in detail, Colonel." Teyla added as she stepped forward. "They look to see the strength of our leader; you have passed."

"So, there's no threat?" Sheppard asked as his eyes flickered to the missile.

"No threat," the Chief laughed as he took the missile from the base and tossed it over to him.

Sheppard gasped and caught it carefully, sighing as he noted it was only a metal casing. "Oh," he whispered. "That's it?"

"That's it," Teyla smiled. "They have offered to set us up for the night, since it will be dark by the end of the celebration."

Sheppard nodded, appraising the situation. "Where's Ronon?"

Teyla laughed. "Eating and drinking the fine offering they have presented for us."

McKay groaned. "Oh, he better not eat it all."

"Do not worry," Teyla grinned. "There is plenty."

"Okay," Sheppard shrugged, still feeling a little wary of the situation. "We eat and then go."

"Do you not want a trading agreement?" Teyla questioned, her eyebrow rising slightly.

"Yes," the Chief smiled. "We make arrangement in morning, after celebration. We are in need of medicine. We have plenty food, and your doctor seemed pleased about our naquadah engineering."

"Er, yes." Sheppard nodded. "In the morning, I suppose we can come to some sort of an agreement."

"Good," the Chief smiled as he stood and ushered them into another room that was filled with many people milling about and tables with food and wine. "Eat. Drink."

The team gathered together at the central table to eat and drink as instructed. They began to relax fully when the music began to play and the residents started to dance.

"Not bad," Sheppard smiled as he glanced around at his team, glad that no harm had come to them.

"It is a very joyous occasion," Teyla smiled. "We arrived during their fall festival."

"Oh, you mean this isn't for us?" He chuckled. "And here I thought we were special."

"They brought the good wine for us," Ronon slurred as he leaned over the table taking another chug from the bottle of wine in his hand.

"Nice." Sheppard grinned as he sipped the wine in his goblet. He glanced at his teammates and smiled. The small smile faded as he realized one of them was missing. "Where's McKay?"

"He said he wanted to study the platform," Ronon shrugged as he returned back to his meal.

Sheppard rolled his eyes and stood up. "Don't go anywhere, relax, have fun." He ordered as he looked for the nearest exit. "I'll be back."

He left quickly, not waiting for an answer. Sheppard knew that his team could take care of themselves; McKay on the other hand, had the knack of getting into trouble.

"Rodney?" Sheppard called out as he neared the platform device, his eyes widening as he noted that the platform was a good deal higher than before.

A muffled reply came from underneath the platform.

"Hey, Rodney?" He asked as he crouched down to take a better look.

"Yes?" He replied as he started to climb out from under the platform and stood up. "Can't you see that-" His voice dying on his lips as Sheppard kissed him and pressed him back onto the platform.

"Fuck or die," Sheppard hissed as he nipped at McKay's lips and pulled away slightly to look at his face.

"Turned you on didn't it?" McKay chuckled as he ran his hand over Sheppard's back, pulling him closer.

"No, talking." He ordered as he kissed him, trailing his tongue over McKay's. He pressed him over the platform.

"Is there a missile in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" McKay chuckled as he pulled away slightly.

"Rodney," Sheppard began to protest as they heard a rustle in the brush beside the platform. They jumped apart and stared as the Chief made his presence known with a small cough.

"No mind me," he grinned as he continued to sip his wine, staring at them.

"Later," Sheppard huffed as he turned and walked away. "And it was turning into such a nice night."

The end.